There´s an old belief that, as time goes by, one acquires a sense of knowledge and understanding just going through life. In a way, it´s true. In another, it´s not. As philosopher Martin Heidegger established, time is an important part of our existence. But for our life to be existence, we have to step out of ourselves and be present in the world. Only then, time can become experience. Only then, experience can become wisdom. 

As part of the Neurocognitive Rehabilitation Programme of the Guadalupe Institute, in San Martin, Buenos Aires, Argentina, I come across people who have lived a long life. By talking to them, I help them get a different insight into the time went by. But also, by listening, I can get a grasp of the wisdom they picked up along the way. Here is a little glimpse of what they shared:

Cherish your loved ones.

Nurture love relationships, cultivate friendships and support your family. Built beautiful moments to remember. Every personal problem you may have can be resolved with humility, empathy, and tolerance. You don´t want to wake up one day and see that your memories are filled with anger and estrangement.  Along his journey, Christopher McCandless wrote: “Happiness is only real when shared”. It can´t be truer.

Some things are important.

Some things are not. We spend a ridiculous amount of time on issues that are meaningless, insignificant and simply not worth thinking about. Most of them are only in our minds and not in the real world. Also, they can be only essential to us, not to the people around us; or, even, to the people involved in them. Learn to recognize the important from the unimportant and apply your energy to that. 

Managing time.

Time well spent is a life well-lived. However, managing it can be a tricky subject in our journey. Philosopher Emmanuel Mounier studied different ways we can misuse time. Boredom, where time is stopped, without goals or meaning; Impatience, a symptom of our era, with time being accelerated by anxiety; Regret, getting trapped in the past with no vision of the present or the future; and Fantasy, as the way we deception ourselves into an imaginary future. Every one of them is a method to escape our present. Nevertheless, as Mindfulness teaches us, the present is the only real time there is. The continuum of time begins in the present. It becomes the past when it´s done. It builds the future when it acts. Being present is essential to our life. As Buddha said, “Don´t dwell in the past, don´t imagine your future, focus your mind in the present moment”. 

Opportunity.

Chronos, our “Father Time”, representative of the chronological and lineal time, doesn´t always line up with our internal clock. But Kairos teaches us that there´s a proper and convenient time for anything in our lives. As neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl elucidated, we come across a lot of situations that hold a hidden meaning for us to discover. Events that present an opportunity to take action and accomplish the things that are meant to us. Being aware and recognizing those occasions are part of the learning tree of life.        

Timing.

“There is a time for everything (…)”, the Bible reads. Which means that everything in our lives has its moment. There are a time and place for us. We can´t do wherever we want, whenever we want. Different ages have different meanings and opportunities. Even though our essence must remain, we can not be the same person all along with our lives. Change is inevitable, Lao Tze said. Accepting it is a virtue.

Be the best “you” that you can be.

Some of the questions that emerge from therapy are: Did I do my best? Was I good? Was I myself? All three of them are connected. Giving your best effort to do well in a task that is important to you, gives you a sense of accomplishment, regarding the result. But also, being who you are bringing a wonderful level of satisfaction to your life. According to psycho-oncologist Juan José Milano, authenticity can be achieved with four different steps: Self-discovery; Self-acceptance; Self-approval and Self-transcendence. This means that you have to discover who you are, accept it, approve yourself and step out to characterize it in the world. In this order, you have to know you are free to take action. Your word is the last one. As psychiatrist Carl Jung said, “I´m not what happened to me. I am who I chose to be”.

As you have read, there is a lot of wisdom that they shared with me. The one that struck me the most was this: Since the arrow of time moves from the present to the future, the past can only return in the form of memory. Time can never be lived again.

Every opportunity is unique. Make your life unique, too. 

References

• Kraken, Jon; “Into the Wild”; based on the life of Christopher McCandless; E.E.U.U.; 1996.

• Frankl, Viktor; “Man´s Search For Meaning”; 1946.

• Jung, Carl; “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”, 1961.

• Jung, Carl; “Man and his Symbols”, 1964.

• Lao Tze; “Tao Te Ching”.

• The Bible; Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

• Hsing Yung; Buddhism and Psychology; 2011.