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In this article I want to describe not functional situations for our relationships, leaving for another one tips to solve these problems and generate healthy behavior in the social environment.

All that I describe here is a daily observation of messaging, focused on social groups, leaving outside a lot of situations of the work environment.

I will describe only 3 frequent situations:

1-High frequency of social communications

2-The impulsive messaging

3-The impact within the IRL people environment

1-High frequency of social communications

In real life, it's not probably you talk or have a meeting every day with a friend or a group of friends, and it`s even less possible to do it several times in the same day.

But if you use messaging you probably send and receive daily messages of several friends

This situation, in one hand, makes you feel close and with an everyday company, but in the other hand, you suffer a great personal exposure that the experience usually shows that could generate progressively erasure of your relationships and even loneliness.

Why?

-Because in the daily messaging your words increase the possibility of misunderstanding. 

-In real life when you have a meeting with your friend or a group of friends you first coordinate a convenient moment and space, and you concentrate on that in real-time conversation but in messaging it's probably you do it inconvenient and not convenient moments, in the middle of a lot of others social and networking message

-Your attention is unfocused and your emotions may be in constant change.

-This high exposure and the requirement of answer a lot of messages (on occasion more than one hundred a day) make very difficult the quality of your communication

2- The impulsive messaging

Messaging facilitates you express, and sends impulsive messages, you easily than ever can express your emotions of the moment.  Not always this is clearly understood or received by other people.

It is possible that people not reply immediately or not reply at all.  That silence usually generates anxiety, you don't know if others hadn`t the occasion to reply or didn`t wants to be involved in impulsive messages. This situation creates unpredictable emotions in you and the other persons.

In real life, you can express your emotions in real-time, with your voice, your face and all your body language, and you have an immediate reply, even in the silence, because the body always replies.

In real life, you have the environment to select what to say, how to say it, and what not to say.

That`s because you have immediate feedback for what you are saying, so you can regulate and adapt your message to your interlocutor.

In the messaging groups increases the illusion of missing out, and this another reason for anxiety and unpredictable emotions.

Probably effects:

·         Anxiety

·         Unpredictable emotions

·         Misunderstanding

3- The impact on the IRL people environment

 The online communication produces you are in several spaces at the same time, but it is IRL who suffers the real impact.

It is usual that in relaxing moments you are beside people you love, but both take a lot of time messaging, so your IRL environment loses quality conversation.

It is a real situation that could make distance with whom are beside you, living with you, and waiting for you. Even kids or people of all age suffer a similar situation.

Probably effects:

·         Worse relationship with your familiar environment

·         To be required at the same time for face to face environment and the online environment

·         Social stress

Conclusions

Let`s take the control of our lives and enjoy technology at the service your wellbeing.

We are learning, we are choosing what kind of future we want to live...

Let`s create a healthy future, the first step is right now.